Parenting by Mark Chandeysson
Part one of four - Diapering
Diapering will be the first real parenting experience after the blessed event. Once your little bundle of joy is calmed down and napping, just minutes old, you will hear a fart noise. Rule #1 - babies don't fart. It is always poop. Do not immediately change the baby. Wait because there is always more. After 2-3 minutes you can investigate. Place the baby on a large bath towel on the floor. This is safer and cheaper than a changing table. A concave changing table mattress can be purchased cheap and prevents rolling and head banging. Undo and push the onezee up under their arms completely out of the way. Pre-lay two or three wipes in strategic places around the baby. Fully stretch out a new diaper especially disposables which have elastic which only works if pre-stretched. Now you're ready. Undo diaper and inspect. Once the diaper is folded back from between their legs, grab both ankles in one hand with your index finger between the ankles to prevent the ankle bones from hurting each other. If the front flap of the diaper is clean, use it as a wipe to make one feeble attempt to wipe the bulk of the poop down and fold against the back of the diaper. Even though closed, leave the diaper there, it provides a disposable surface to put dirty bottoms down on while cleaning. Wipe everything clean. There is no technique here, but for girls, wipe downward. At this point you are thanking me for the strategically placed wipes. If the baby is a boy, this is when they pee on you, on themselves, the wall, the cat. Apply a chemical barrier - Desitin or Blamex to the bottom. Buy the tubes. A little cream goes a long way. A thin thin coating almost like white washing the bottom. This barrier will prevent irritants in the poop from turning the bottom pink. Pink is a sign of irritation - use more cream next time if pink. Do not use powder. Rule #2 - Change baby often. Diapers are an investment in your baby's health. Change before naps, change when they wake up from naps, change when they make an audible, change when they make a visual (face turns red), change right before late night feedings. Probably no less than 14 changes in 24 hours. Have a complete changing station upstairs and one downstairs to limit running up and down. You will be doing that enough as it is. Do not let your baby be naked but for a very quick photograph. While cute, they will make a mess. Have fun.
Parenting - Part two of four - Feeding
Feeding will likely be the next thing you experience with your new baby. With patience, perseverance, and pain (the 3 Ps) you can arrive at a point where breast feeding is a magical bonding experience with your baby. But remember Rule #3 - Beginning breast feeding is depressing. And with post birth hormones crashing about in your body, feeding difficulties can lead to emotional feelings of rejection. But there are things you can do to increase your chances of success. First contact a lactation specialist through your hospital if you haven't already. Second - there are conditions where babies are not good at breast feeding. Ask your doctor if things don't improve in a day or two. And remember - Rule #4 - Newborns do lose weight. They are basically born water logged bloated babies. You can feed them all you want, but when they dry out, they will shrink for a couple of days. Don't panic. Babies do not have a wide assortment of foods to pick from. It's either Mom or formula. Rule #5 - Feed your baby ONLY Mom or formula! When feeding becomes routine, you will learn that if you can "Top the baby off" you can get a better night sleep. Topping off is great until they projectile vomit all over you. Then not only are you covered in puke, you have a hungry baby. Start over and remember, there is nothing like putting a kid to sleep topped-off so they sound and feel like a full canteen. You know they are going to sleep at least long enough for you to take a shower and get all the barf off. Just remember - Rule #6 - No feeding is complete until - Part three - the burp.
Parenting - Part three of four - Burping
We have progressed from the exact science of Diaper Changing to the fine art of Feeding - to the mystery that is Burping. The field of Burping is shrouded in mystery and plagued with misinformation. We know we must burp the baby during and after meals otherwise the baby will a) not eat enough, and b) will be very uncomfortable. But how? The only solution, - time.Try this experiment: Shake up a 2 liter bottle of soda. Now pat the soda bottle, rub the soda bottle, sing to the soda bottle, squeeze the soda bottle - the foam is unaffected. Watch as the foam goes away on its own. There are ways to chemically speed up the process - and your doctor can recommend something. We used Mylicon gas drops with poor results. But the best solution is 2 minutes of gentle swaying with the baby in an upright position. This can mean putting baby's head on your shoulder or sitting the baby on your lap like a little Buddha with your hand fully supporting their head. Either way - don't be impatient. This begins the critical 60 seconds where baby will either begin to settle or barf. You need to remain relatively motionless and be prepared to catch barf. This is why the Buddha method is preferable to the over the shoulder hold. I have had a baby (whose name starts with Cooper) barf down my back through my pants and into my slippers. Don't do this. After the full 2 minutes without a nice burp, you can continue feeding or move on to other things. Not all babies burp, and not all babies burp every meal. After 2 minutes, and you're convinced baby need to burp, gentle pressure can be applied to baby's back to provide a squeeze of sorts. But you are treading into unknown territory. You are circumventing the natural order of things. You may be rewarded with a burp, a barf or you may squeeze other things out of the baby. Your mileage may
vary.
Parenting - Part four of four - Calming
Part four is the least intuitive. Once baby is changed, fed, burped and checked for the proverbial Lego in the diaper (Part five) we would expect the baby to sleep or explore their new parents and new world - not so. Newborns are still having trouble adapting to life outside the womb. Give them a break - Do these steps to simulate being back in the womb and babies magically calm. Don't question - Just do. Or in this case "dudu. Watch this video: https://youtu.be/6OtPSfyZXNw